40X I Wish I Could Take Your Pain Away
by desy
Summary: Set after 3.13/ 4.02: Three comforts a desperate Two after they found Kryden's cabin abandoned.


4.0X - I Wish I Could Take Your Pain Away

Spoilers: Season 1-3 & Joseph Mallozzi's Virtual Season 4.01 & 4.02 (look onto his website/blog to read how season 3's cliffhanger ends).

Disclaimer: Dark Matter belongs to Joseph Mallozzi and Paul Mullie. Not making money here.

I just can't stop thinking how it might continue (I so hope that there will be some kind of continuation of this amazing show - even if it's just the twittered version or a comic; I still do have my hopes to read Mr. Mallozzi's 4.03).

Have a look at Twitter #darkmatter: there are still campaigns running to save the show in the one way or another!

Summary: Set after 3.13/ 4.02 Three comforts a desperate Two after they found Kryden's cabin abandoned.

Note: English is not my native tongue. Constructive criticism/correction is welcomed. First fanfiction of Dark Matter and first piece written in years – I'm really rusty.

The X in 4.0X will be eventually replaced by a number. I'm outlining/ writing my version of 4.03 and up, but I needed to get this piece outta my head first.

Please keep in mind that season 1 covers a period of 47 days as we learned in 2.01. In 3.06 we learn that since 2.08 at least one and a half months must have passed by. And in 3.09 Two says that it has been a 'rough month' – I first thought she was saying it just like that, but as I rewatched the series, I got the notion that there hasn't been that much time past. I guess till the 3.13/4.01/4.02 only about 6 months. This takes place a little later.

X – X – X – X – X

"If you want this stuff to work, we have to slow your nanites down with an EMP."

She hadn't heard him enter and choose to ignore him, her far away gaze trained at the FTL lightening outside the bridge's windows. She took another big swallow from her cup. The whisky burned down her throat for a moment before her nanites got to work and almost instantly the burning sensation in her throat vanished. Not to mention that the once full bottle was now only a fifth filled and she was far from being drunk or drowning this burning ache in her heart. Maybe an EMP didn't sound so bad at all.

At first she didn't feel when he took the bottle from her hand. He was really gentle. Her cup in her right hand was wordlessly filled almost to the rim, before he swallowed the last gulps and sat down at the edge of the nav-console at the center of the bridge, directly next to her chair.

Long minutes ticked by as both stared at the somehow soothing flashes outside. "We will find her."

His words were barley a whisper, but tore at her heart with a vengeance, that the tears, which were pooling in her large brown eyes for the last two hours, eventually rolled down her cheeks in thick rivers. "We won't." Her voice was firm and held a finality she had feared all those past months.

They had finally found the planet with the three moons and the distinct atmospheric phenomena. Kryden's planet. Kryden's cabin. But it had been abandoned in a hurry not long ago.

There were no hints about their whereabouts. No hints why they had left so suddenly. Only that empty cabin.

The only answer she got by the small dresses they'd found, even this was still mostly a guess, was that her daughter must be a toddler at least, maybe even a little bit older.

Why had she left them for so long? Why did she leave her in the first place? The life at the cabin was simple, but good. Why did she have to go out into the galaxy and play most-wanted-criminal while her baby-girl was growing up without her?

A strangled sob escaped her throat.

Suddenly a warmth enclosed her ice-cold fingers. His thumb rubbed slow soothing circles on the back of her left hand. She had expected his fingers to be callused, not this smooth, but then again shouldn't she know better from their one time together? This was so long ago as well. At least it felt like a lifetime ago, yet it had been roughly eight months that they had left their stasis pods without their memories. Without any burdens of their screwed-up pasts. Back then she, like all of them, had yearned to know who they were; now she yearned herself back to that moment of ignorance.

She tried to convince herself that it was better this way. That she hadn't been there the past years and that it was fine. That she was fine with her protector. Her caretaker. That it was better for her little girl to have no mother than a ruthless killer, pirate, terrorist, thief and all those other things her GA file listed for a mother that had left her alone in the first place.

But that ache in her heart wouldn't go away.

Another sob.

His hand squeezed hers gently. Then he broke that soothing contact and crouched down next to her. He slowly turned the chair, away from the lightshow outside and towards him. She was about to voice her objections, but then she saw those raw emotions of compassion and understanding of her loss in his blue eyes, something ONE had deemed the other man incapable of, and there had been a time long ago, she had shared this opinion. His one hand lifted up to her face and tenderly wiped one of her many tears away. "I think this is the first time I see you cry."

Their old selves had to be hard. Had to be always strong. A display of weakness, tears, could have changed their dynamic. They had been like Corso had called them: predators.

But now they were family. They pulled their strength from their trust in each other, their compassion and friendship. And if one of them was at their weakest point, then there were the five others to comfort. Everyone in their own way. Even their obnoxious loudmouth.

By now she knew he was really soft at heart. A good, caring man. She saw in his eyes that he desperately searched for the right words to make her feel better. To take her pain away.

But there was nothing to make this emptiness in her heart any lesser.

"What's the next space station from that planet?" He suddenly asked.

Did he think a change of scenery would make it all better? Hardly.

Stubbornly she wanted to turn her chair back to the front and away from his warm eyes, but he held her firmly in place, his fingers still wiping away the thick rivers streaming down from her brown orbs.

"We will find her." He repeated again.

This time anger began to boil inside her stomach. "How?" She spat at him furiously.

"Looking for them at the nearest space station for starters."

A bitter laugh left her lips. "Shall we ask around for a man with an augmented torso and a child that might be between 3 and maybe 5?"

"Yes." She looked at him like he had grown a second head, but even he had his bright times. "But without the torso-part but instead showing around a picture of this Kryden guy."

Confusion furrowed her features. "Picture?" Her anger subsiding slowly.

A small smile tugged on his lips. He was pretty sure his idea could work. He would have preferred to keep it from her for the time being, to don't get her hopes up, but if his idea should work then her cooperation was essential. "Do you still remember what this Kryden looked like in your dream?" A nod. "Then let's ask the Kid if she could draw a picture under your descriptions."

There it was again: hope.

It took her a moment to ponder on the possibilities. On the odds. The tears stopped suddenly and she put the cup of whisky onto the nav-console. Her one hand found its way up to his on her face. She squeezed it with a tiny smile on her lips. "Thank you." Her other hand went to the small light blue dress in her lap.

Maybe she could give this dress and the stuffed animals they had found in the cabin back to her little girl one day. One day not so far away.

X – X – X – X – X

It had taken them three stations and countless shopkeepers, waiters and even passer-byes to ask, but they eventually got the confirmation that a man that matched FIVE's drawing had stayed on the station for little over a week. Accompanied by a little girl. A girl with long blond hair.

They were getting closer.

X – X – X – X – X

Like it? Hate it? Please tell me if you want to read more. The more feedback the faster I'll finish my version of 4.03.


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